Wolf pack

On my first day, I was pretty nervous.

My first day of entering binding service.

I find the location and look around,

When somebody comes to greet this poor, lost clown.

“Welcome to the Wolf Pack,

I’ll show you the ropes.

Hunting with us is a knack,

But I have high hopes.

Our formation has a hole,

Just jump right in.

Our target is a foal,

Rip and tear at its shin.

Followed by communal eating.

Scenery very panoramic.

Then, a feedback meeting

Improving the group dynamic.

Welcome aboard again.

Our motto: Fangs and brain.”

Wolf in sheep’s clothing

Is that a wolf in sheep’s clothing there?

I don’t mean metaphorically as hot air,

Just right there by the barber shop,

The one that looks like a cheap, wet mop.

We should warn the old man who’s coming out,

If he’s not a fighter, old oak and stout,

He could get jumped by the wolf-in-guise,

And hurt my ears with his “help me” cries.

“Err, I think that’s… that’s a poodle,

You know, as dangerous as your average strudel,

It is woolly and white, I agree,

But a wolf in disguise I just can’t see.

I think the old man is his old owner,

The doggy a companion working for a boner.

You know, you have this kind of bad habit

Of seeing danger everywhere, like a scared rabbit.

Try to relax and not get spooked,

By your fear of animals and getting surprise-nuked,

How about I buy you a sorbet,

Concentrate on licking that. A deal? Ok?”

Cabbage, goat, wolf

Do you know the riddle with the cabbage and the goat?

Also a wolf? And they’re crossing a moat?

I always wondered about what they think.

“Why am I here? What if we sink?

Why is that goat looking at me like that?

Are we there yet? Can I have a hat?”

That would be the head of cabbage, by the way,

They used to be smarter back in the day.

“Where’s my family and hunting grounds?

All my familiar greens and browns?

Why is that goat looking at that ball?

Not a friendly look, no, not at all.”

The wolf is lonely, understandably so,

On strange waters where odd winds blow.

“Food food food food food you are,

Come, hop in, my mouth is ajar!

I’m gonna eat you no matter what!

You can’t say ‘no, please’ or ‘but’.”

The goat is, erm, acting very goaty,

Thoughts centered on a cabbage-head roti.

I guess that’s normal, goats are goats,

Doesn’t really matter if on land or boats.