Hedge-trimming

A friend was ill so I lent a hand,

Outdoor chores no longer unmanned.

Vital stuff done, I’m still raring to go:

“Go trim the hedges before we get snow.”

I’d never done that ever in my life,

But oversized scissors can’t be harder than a knife.

I get to work on a the rightmost hedge,

Examining thoroughly to find the right edge.

I start cutting and keep at it till

It’s become a ball that would roll down a hill.

That was too easy. Next! I get to work,

I get it: A droplet. And I go berserk.

Ten minutes later, what do I see,

The shape of rain that tickles every bee.

The third and biggest bush is all that remains.

I think of a shape and with great birthing pains

I remember the words of Antoine de Saint

And get to work without any restraint.

After the inspiration I take a look,

At what I accomplished, how much it took.

“A ball, a droplet, a bush no more…”

I breathe in and report on the chore.

“It’s done and now I’ll think I’ll leave.”

Almost round the block and then, I believe

I hear a shriek that could curdle blood.

I guess he saw what was nipped in the bud.

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Moose browsing

I read an academic paper about the effects on moose browsing on certain types of trees, and I found the phrase moose browsing interesting. Apparently moose have a tendency to nibble on various trees and not eat only from one, and this is called moose browsing. The more you know…

 

I spent my day moose browsing,

Looking for a pet for my collective housing.

Someone to trim our bushes and weeds,

Encroaching trees from Monsanto-like seeds,

Clearing the snow like a train snow plow

Making the snow fly upwards now.

Plus, he could act as a big, brown pillow,

With his antlers as a bed for our friendly armadillo.

I didn’t go to the nearest market of moose

After their pens fell into disuse.

Hunting one myself was a far better option,

If you know the drill, you’re set for moose adoption.

First be polite and ask the moose leaders,

If they have a child they will give to the Readers.

They had one, in our neighborhood tribe,

One special one, how to describe,

Slightly unruly, but ultimately nice.

In exchange, zones for grazing,

Planting the right stuff that tastes just amazing.

So I came back with a moose of our own,

Now we feed him till he’s full grown.