Much too much mud cake

Vanilla and ordinary sugar and flour,

Some salt plus cocoa and baking powder.

Mix it all up, add oat milk and oil,

Melt down some chocolate, microwave it or boil.

In the metric system, almost 200 degrees,

For almost half an hour, patience please.

Also, you have to wait till it cools way down,

Burninating your tongue ain’t the best thing around,

With a cake right there it can be frustrating,

Especially with your sweet tooth beating, pulsating.

Be smart now, and sillier later,

Your portions can grow to be greater and greater:

I made a mud cake and now it hurts,

Ain’t much left of the best of my desserts.

I didn’t need to bother any chickens or cows,

But still, I have cake on my cheeks and brows.

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Black beans and onions

Black beans! And onions!

Black beans! And onions!

I have a frying pan and those two ingredients,

A rapeseed oil bottle brimming with its contents,

Salt and black pepper and a spatulaaaaa,

Plus a knife as sharp as the fang of Draculaaaa!

Chip-chap-chop makes the onions small,

But not so much you can’t see them at all.

The kitchen becomes my private pool,

The onions make me always a fool.

Drain the beans and wash them like a sweet baby,

Gently and well, with warm water maybe.

Sauté the onions in the heat of a dragon,

High time for me to get on the dragon bandwagon.

Stir with the beans and give the saltiest season,

Where they live, sweet water is treason!

Sprinkle enough pepper to give them coal lung,

So that you can taste it in the air on your tongue.

Make them dance with the spatulaic grace,

Put them on a plate and stuff your face.

If you burnt your tongue, points for the zeal,

And good luck tasting the rest of the meal.

Cooking and math

Cooking and math are both very fun,

Almost identical, both the same one.

Why? Because rules are all you need.

Follow them if you’re mixing mead.

A soufflé or cake, stick to the rule,

Deriv-integrating, don’t be a fool.

Remember the rules and you’ll get there,

Just make sure that you don’t err.

A tea or tablespoon is not quite the same,

Plus before powered? Improve your aim.

If it doesn’t work, it’s all on you,

That’s so good, if only you knew.

If the blame is totally and only on me,

So is the solution, I’ve got the key.

That’s why cooking and math are fun,

If I succeed, it’s me who won.

Baking pizza

Baking pizza in the oven. Can’t it be done?

Not quite as much as the eating, the baking was still fun.

Kneading dough with my bare fists,

Checking herby ingredient lists,

If I check what it looks like it’s yellow as the sun.

That’s the cheesy crust it has, moustache licking good!

Tomato sauce and salty things, like a pizza should!

Onions and garlic. Onions and garlic!

Onions in onions, garlic on garlic!

If I had a fireproof mouth, chomp down on it I would.

It’s done! It’s done! It’s been a half hour!

Its red and yellow is prettier than any flower.

Bye bye now, my dear friend.

I’ll salivate all the way till the end.

I’ll be so greased I will need a soapy shower!

One fine day

I gave my mom’s special cook book a peak,

Found the right page after” uses of leek”.

She has the recipe for one fine day

There’s alternates, but she’s got the best way.

It said there to use music as the base,

It’s very solid and wins every cooking race.

A layer of listening first thing after waking,

Another of singing with added head shaking,

A third of playing the uke or cowbell,

You can add dancing in there as well,

(I’ve got no rhythm so I look like Kermit,

But it’s ok, you don’t need a permit.)

Graffiti comes as the whipped cream top,

Write a story or a poem or some hip hop,

(You’re so unoriginal even trees serve you,

Roses red, violets blue, doo-do-doo-doo.)

Cook it in hot sunshine for about a day,

Enjoy it slowly, as slowly as you may.