Contract killer

“Let me take a drag beforehand to look cooler.”

 

I don’t work for cheap, that’s true.

But I get the job done, and done well too.

There’s an idea and it’d be good if it dies?

Arrange the payment and close your eyes.

How do I work? You don’t want to know

Just describe the target and cough up the dough.

It’s one of yours? Well that’s a first.

You want to live your passion, lifelong nursed,

Of traveling the world and painting with oil

To avoid the rat race and mind-numbing toil?

Alright, I see, this won’t take long.

Just kick back and relax, we can’t go wrong.

I will now come closer and whisper some words

They will kill the idea of being free as birds.

Listen closely and listen well, sonny:

“With this idea you can’t make money.”

Now it’s dead, put the payment in the pot

As agreed, 15 gummy bears, fresh and hot.

Have a nice life, son, and do come back

If you ever fall off the too-well-beaten track.

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Human-acting class

Robot School’s first Human-Acting class,

Students of chromed up steel and brass.

Wearing hats and shirts that don’t fit well,

Waiting for the end, the relieving bell.

“If you remember only one thing from me,

Make sure it is this, every he and she:

Like stuff a lot and “BAM!”, you’re a human,

You don’t need wisdom or acumen,

Just tell everyone you meet about your stamps,

Or about the stories you heard from gramps.

If you choose food, ask people over,

Cook them some, garnished with a clover.

Ask their opinion and why it’s so,

Then get excited and really let it show.

You can use words like awesome and cool,

It really helps if you grin like a fool.

If you tear up at some point of your story,

There’s no doubt of your humane glory.

Just remember the thing that what you choose,

Really doesn’t matter, you can’t loose.

Esports or flowers, they’re the same thing,

Just jump around like you got a bee sting.

Alright class, homework’s this:

Find yourself a hobby that your soul can kiss.

Next week we’ll practice getting excited,

Let’s see if your speech gets my feel-sensors ignited.”