X-men powers

What would I do if I had x-men powers?

I wouldn’t hesitate or think for hours.

Cyclops’ laser eyes are handy for cooking,

No need for a stove, I’d just do some looking

And the onions would be sautéed to perfection,

Later to be eaten by objects of my affection.

Wolverine’s claws could open all the letters,

Persuasion +10 when chased by debtors.

Also, good for chopping up an onion

Chopping them cleanly, like trees with Paul Bunyan.

Being telepathic, like Professor X,

Could stop an international annex.

Also, I’d know if onions are ok to cook

For my guests without asking, just a quick look.

In summary I’d say, the powers would be pretty cool

All of them help polish that culinary jewel.

Black beans and onions

Black beans! And onions!

Black beans! And onions!

I have a frying pan and those two ingredients,

A rapeseed oil bottle brimming with its contents,

Salt and black pepper and a spatulaaaaa,

Plus a knife as sharp as the fang of Draculaaaa!

Chip-chap-chop makes the onions small,

But not so much you can’t see them at all.

The kitchen becomes my private pool,

The onions make me always a fool.

Drain the beans and wash them like a sweet baby,

Gently and well, with warm water maybe.

Sauté the onions in the heat of a dragon,

High time for me to get on the dragon bandwagon.

Stir with the beans and give the saltiest season,

Where they live, sweet water is treason!

Sprinkle enough pepper to give them coal lung,

So that you can taste it in the air on your tongue.

Make them dance with the spatulaic grace,

Put them on a plate and stuff your face.

If you burnt your tongue, points for the zeal,

And good luck tasting the rest of the meal.

Baking pizza

Baking pizza in the oven. Can’t it be done?

Not quite as much as the eating, the baking was still fun.

Kneading dough with my bare fists,

Checking herby ingredient lists,

If I check what it looks like it’s yellow as the sun.

That’s the cheesy crust it has, moustache licking good!

Tomato sauce and salty things, like a pizza should!

Onions and garlic. Onions and garlic!

Onions in onions, garlic on garlic!

If I had a fireproof mouth, chomp down on it I would.

It’s done! It’s done! It’s been a half hour!

Its red and yellow is prettier than any flower.

Bye bye now, my dear friend.

I’ll salivate all the way till the end.

I’ll be so greased I will need a soapy shower!