The best in life

You know when you laugh so hard you can’t stop?

So hard that your lungs feel like they’re gonna pop,

Tears stream down your wobbling cheeks,

Down to your jaw in two wet streaks.

That feeling right there is what it’s about,

The reason why I live, there is no doubt.

Afterward it hurts and I’m gasping for air

I don’t even care that I fell off of my chair.

When the giggles die down and I settle down,

My mind is clear and my brow has a frown,

As I try not to think about what made me laugh,

Fail, and fall down like a newborn calf.

Rinse and repeat or half an hour or so,

The world is pure as with fresh, white snow.

 

This was caused by a YouTube video where a man reads out loud misspellings of the word pregnant for two minutes. The video title is “how is pragent formed”, if someone wants to cackle like a hyena.

 

Typing sticks

Typing sticks are fingers and balance sticks are toes,

Seeing orbs are eyes? Not even House knows.

Chewing blocks are teeth and hearing holes are ears,

Your head: A speaky hole and some thinking gears.

Running sticks are legs and pointing sticks are arms,

Sniffing holes can detect some aromatic alarms.

Pumping ball is hearty and filling sacks are lungs,

Tasting snake is what some people call their tongues.

You’re made of sticks and stuff and so, and so, and so,

Sticks never worry about life, but still they always grow.

Sit to my left

I’ve been in a car crash, I’ve fallen from trees and rooftops; nowhere near as scary as the girl I fancy sitting next to me.

When I sit and breathe in class,

I feel like a great, big, sunken bass.

Slow and steady, never any rush.

My lungs pump slow, there’s a slight hush.

The air has no taste and it feels light.

My heart beats slow with a tenth of its might.

Once in four, ticks of the clock.

Tick tock tick tock, breathe, tick tock.

I feel calm and surprisingly attentive,

Not excited, angry or pensive.

Ready to learn, my mind feels deft.

You come in and you sit to my left.

My heart takes a dive,

Breath tastes of iron.

It stops for five,

Chest is set fire on.

Heart of lead beats six in one.

I can’t breathe, I want to run.

You so close destroys my core.

You far away just makes me sore.

My skin tingles, don’t dare to look.

Then you ask to borrow my book.

Sliding it over, our fingers touch.

Yank my hand back, the fire’s too much.

You say thanks and I peek at your eyes.

You look back and my heart cries:

”We can’t do it, we don’t have the power!

If you look again we’ll have a bloody shower!”

I look and lean away from your heat.

Your fragrant flower and my nose won’t meet.

To you my glances and voice so meek

(Brought to you by my Heart So Weak™)

Feel like I dislike you, or hate.

The damage is done and it’s too late.

My intention will not get through

It hurts too much to be next to you.

Eye contact and I expire,

Read your name and I perspire.

It’s not normal for a man full grown.

But whining won’t help so I’ll stop my moan.

(And stay alive by staying alone)