Beauty of nature

I had a friend who said nature is grand.

From the tallest mountains to grains of sand.

From the great bones of Tyrannosaurus rex.

To the slender beauty of giraffes long necks.

I do agree, some things are amazing,

But it does good to do some close appraising.

The necks of giraffes are also used for fighting,

Swatting away at others, violent, writhing.

It’s quite hilarious seen the first time,

Not just great, grandiose and sublime.

Then there’s the way that dogs drag their butts,

Every single dog, not just mangy mutts.

There’s some stuff that’s downright creepy,

Assassin bugs and wasps that make you sleepy.

And the fact that animals don’t care if you die,

You’re food or a threat to fox or a fly.

I don’t mean to rain on his parade,

But a flawed outlook won’t come to your aid.


My head

You know what you did that made me dizzy?

You, yesterday, ran around super busy,

And you swept my head off its feet.

There was no mess, it was pretty neat.

You knocked the podium with your arm,

My head fell down and set off the alarm.

The platinum legs that hold it standing,

Did nothing at all to smoothen the landing.

My forehead banged on the marble floor,

And I rolled with my ear to the door.

I don’t mind, you know that I’m dead.

But it filled your guests with dread.

They tried to roll their luggage inside,

But me in the wheels, they didn’t glide.

It’s pretty rare to have a skull in the cogs,

But at least it entertained their dogs.

So, all in all, my dizziness aside,

The slobbering and fright was not a good ride.

In the near future, if you can,

Be less hurried, my dear man.

Dogs’ phones

You know why dogs can’t answer the phone?

Not because they don’t have one to own.

My bulldog terrier has his own landline,

Not inconvenient, he doesn’t use mine.

It’s not that their paws can’t hold the handset,

Slippery plastic, not the biggest threat.

(I’ve seen a terrier juggle three of them.)

Barks mix up excitement and phlegm,

You don’t understand a single word,

Dog-happy panting gets the lines blurred.

The very biggest problem is being too happy:

Hi!Hi!Hi!Hi! as hello is pretty close to crappy.