The TV doctor

I stumbled in the kitchen while chopping up leek,

Cut my thumb deep with my antique.

The blood started spurting like a happy fountain

My heart rate started climbing like it was hiking on a mountain.

No one around knew any first aid,

Everyone I showed it to just got afraid.

I panicked and yelled “Help! Somebody, help!”

The TV came to life, powered by my yelp.

It stopped the bleeding, sutured the wound

Gave me a lollipop before my fear ballooned.

I asked astounded “How’d you know what to do?”

It replied “Ten seasons of ER would make you a doctor too.”