Penguin fuel

Whalers on the Falklands had a dilemma.

They had freshly arrived on their ship “Gemma”,

Butchered some whales and were ready

To turn the blubber into oil, slow and steady.

The dilemma was, there were no trees.

Nothing to burn, no bushes in the breeze.

The next logical step was, of course,

To use penguins for fuel. (I don’t endorse.)

Penguins are fatty under the skin, you see,

For burning purposes, better than a tree.

About nine in ten were thrown into the fires

To fuel the burning of whales before the deadline expires.

Burning penguins enabled the burning of whales,

Still ranks pretty low on the cruelness-scales.

I find this somehow incredibly funny,

Oh the things we do, the things we do for money.


Online stupidity

Three things that I often see in online discussions, all of which have an inherent flaw in the reasoning and thus aggravate my logic-gland. To be fair, this gland becomes very aggravated by pretty much anything online, not just these three things.


… and then she said she likes me as a friend!”

Oh you poor thing, did your life end?

You were nice to a person in hopes for sex?

And it didn’t happen, so now you’re perplexed?

Nice is the default, you sack of stupid!

Not for forcing the arrow of cupid.

But now you’re hurt and lie to yourself

“It’s her fault, I’m perfect, like a beautiful elf!”

Lying about your feelings and your intention,

Is dicky, to be fair, dicky. Pay attention!


… asking for it with the way she was dressed.”

The idiocy of this statement has me slightly impressed.

By the same logic, if you see someone

Wearing boxing shorts when going for a run

Means you can punch them out of the blue

And, although they can always sue,

“They had it coming, wearing what they did.

If you’re not ready to be punched, wear other pants kid.”


… is fake, but what I found, it just has to be real.”

Really? The other proof is cotton, yours is steel?

Just with the virtue of agreeing with your bias,

Its validity is raised higher than the Himalayas?

Maybe you should, for once in your life,

Be critical to things said during times of strife

By the people in your team as well? Eh? Maybe?

Not just nod and coo like an overgrown baby.

This might even *GASP* lead to a rational talk.

But that requires thinking, no wonder you balk.

Nine in ten

I’m reading a book on the most up-to-date information on the native peoples of the Americas. The diseases brought from Europe were simply unbelievable in their destructiveness.


Nine in ten dead from burning sores

Families, towns wiped out.

Piles of bodies, scores and scores,

How can there ever be any doubt?

Bustling cities, now no one in sight,

Farms taken back once again.

Entire peoples taken by blight

Nine in ten, nine in ten, nine in ten.

Smallpox, typhoid, measles are

Not known for much kindness.

Traditional healing arts from afar

Were like milk for blindness.

Immigrants from beyond the water

Came to see the destruction.

Told their sons and daughters

“This is all God’s construction.”

Took the lands that used to be

Homes to millions of mothers.

Tilled the soil, cut down the tree

Not much unlike the others.

Dual wielding swords

I watched a YouTube video on historical martial arts. Apparently dual wielding two swords was mainly quite silly, whereas a sword and a dagger were a good combination.


Swords were normally used with a shield

Or just alone, single-wield.

Using two, from a real point of view,

Is for those who don’t have a clue.

Dual wielding in Dark Souls is pretty cool

As the character won’t stumble like a huge fool.

Drizzt Do’Urden used it as well,

And, as proven, it made the books sell.

It sounds like a source of a flurry of steel,

Barring a mistake that makes the metal squeal.

Double long blades is only for sport,

But if one of them happens to be short,

Now that’s an idea, for a riposte,

Or a counterattack worth a foaming toast.

Parry with the dagger, lunge with the sword,

That strikes a real, medieval chord.

(Also, war hammers, maces and such,

Weighed about two pounds, not that much,

About as heavy as the ones who do the poking,

Which is not related, just thought provoking.)