Flatulence connoisseur

I have a friend who’s a flatulence fan,

She likes her beans and peas straight from the can.

After a home-cooked meal she is able

To entertain herself the whole evening without cable!

I’ve never seen someone laugh more than her

After feeding peas to a dog, that won’t recur.

Some say flatulence is childish and dull

Or somehow shameful, get that to your skull!

Just because children have the courage to laugh

Without any holds barred at someone’s social gaffe,

When adults pretend to feign indignity all the way

Doesn’t mean it’s childish at all, eh?

I admit I had to crack up once as well,

She farted in my presence and found the smell

To be horrifying beyond her wildest imagination

And almost fainted like a startled crustacean.

The connoisseur of farts had met her match

And I laughed and laughed, I couldn’t catch

My breath for a minute and I almost died,

But it was worth it to see her hidden side.


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