Almost gentlemanly actions

This might be a suggestion on what to do on dates, or it might not. Reader discretion is advised.

 

Being a gentleman is nice,

But for me it will not suffice.

I like absurdity, that’s my aim,

The laughter it brings, not money or fame.

A female and a door, a deadly combination!

Open it ASAP, gentle conjuration.

But open it too little so she can’t fit through

Marvel at her expression of having no clue.

Laugh very heartily to let her know

No ill intention, no intended woe.

Going out to eat and you offer her a seat?

Like a gentleman, you’re fast on your feet.

Pull the chair just slightly to the side

So the armrest is what she’ll meet with her behind.

As she turns around, chuckle and smile

To prevent any hatred, anger or bile.

Going home after a fancy night out?

It’s cold outside, so I’m all about:

Here’s your coat, milady, if you please,

Holding it ready for her to wear it with ease,

Holding it ready, but a bit too high

So she can’t quite reach, be ready for the why.

The why in her eyes as she realizes,

The humor that was hidden, the bestest of prizes.

Almost gentlemanly actions just like these

Will have her swaying in the humorous breeze.

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