Opposites and kind-ofs

What’s the opposite of a phone conversation?

Sleeping in an abandoned, roofless train station.

(A moist mouth and a cold ear.)

What is exactly the same as giving a speech?

Bungee jumping into a tectonic breach.

(Some applause after wanting to disappear.)

What’s half as good as doing the dishes?

Licking them thoroughly according to your wishes.

(Plates are wet but not exactly clean.)

What’s half as bad as lying to a friend?

Lying to a priest that’s close to the end.

(It’s still a lie, but the truth remains unseen.)

What’s a bit like an uncomfortable hug?

Accidentally stepping on a super slimy bug,

(Icky, but not warm, nor with a person.)

What’s the opposite of sleeping when sick?

25/7 practice of a roundhouse kick.

(Not fun after a while, and your condition will worsen.)

What’s a bit like this poem right here?

Henry Van Dyke’s works, or those of Shakespeare.

(Composed of words, although mine don’t endear.)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s