Millionaire

No you won’t make a millionaire of me.

If I had all the money in the world, you’d see

I’d give it all away to so that I could be free.

No you won’t make a millionaire of me!

A good friend’s get rich quick scheme,

Almost got in the way of my lifelong dream.

I almost drowned in an endless money stream.

But I took a day off to make some home-made ice cream.

A lottery ticket I got from a friend

Would have been my perfect freedom’s end

But I put it in a book that I would lend

To the local politician on whom I could depend.

No you won’t make a millionaire of me.

Won’t make a millionaire of me,

You can try as you might, but you will see,

You won’t make a millionaire of me!

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Magic potion

In Asterix they have a magic potion.

This, in itself, is quite a queer notion.

But what I would do with such an invention

Is mass produce it for frailness prevention.

A factory or two, pumping out the stuff,

Into the water supply, just like Joker’s bluff.

A small-ish dose for everyone around,

Might be the best painkiller to be found.

In the comic they get superhuman powers,

Superhuman speed, but still appreciate flowers.

They never get hurt, no matter how much

They fight, and the old guy even forgets his crutch.

Takes away pain, enhances mobility,

Available even to non-nobility.

If I was a druid in our present day

To make everyone strong would be my way.

Airborne revenge

I went to the market to see all the sights

Bartering, haggling, some drunken fights.

I buy a cup of coffee to unmoodify me,

Me addicted? No, just the taste, you see.

Sauntering, strutting in the sun with a smile,

A seagull greets me with its natural bile,

And where does it land if not in the cup?

Something in me stirs but I don’t blow up.

I hatch a plan of artificially made wings,

Aluminum bars, Kevlar strings.

As an engineer it doesn’t take long,

I ready my tool for righting this wrong.

Tool number one, that is, of course,

Tool number two is slightly more coarse.

Prune juice, flax seeds in olive oil, fried.

Old-timey medicine, tested and tried.

I eat my meal and assemble my machine

The most elegant piece of equipment you’ve seen.

You, or the seagull, as I approach from above

Deliver my payload on the almost-dove.

“Ha ha! You rat! How does it feel?

Ha! Mr. Seagull, karma is a wheel!”