The hottest target

I got a new bow and some arrows with a point.

I warmed up every muscle and joint.

Looked for a target and found me the Sun,

If I hit that, I’d be inferior to none.

Careful aim and just enough tension

To ensure my arrow’s adequate ascension.

The zenith is where my arrow flies to,

The day is still as it flies to the blue.

Staring at the sun, my arrow grows smaller,

Into the body of an incandescent dollar.

I stare and I wait, for what, I don’t know,

All of a sudden I feel a sharp blow.

Shooting at the Sun is not that smart, I confess,

At least depth perception is unnecessary in chess.


A summer-y jog

Summer is coming, at least I think,

Finally, finally we might be on the brink.

I went for a jog in shorts and a tee,

No extra clothing, I felt free!

Free from the bonds of the winter’s chill,

Free to roam the woods, freer still!

Enjoying my freedom, I ran and ran,

Enjoying my speed as my own man.

Freedom that lasted for about half a mile,

And I got tired and could taste bile.

Then came the sweat, I mistook it for rain,

Soaked me to the spine, soaked to the brain.

I kept running for my body and mind,

Oxygenating well is always most kind.

Then I noticed something odd,

The ground was wet so I had to now plod.

It wasn’t raining, so something was up.

But I kept going, still filling my cup.

I came across a dog, just swimming there,

Next to my ankle, head high up in the air.

My suspicion grew, but not quite enough,

I kept running with a huff and a puff.

That’s when I heard the siren’s screechy wail,

A flood alert was given, gigantic scale.

That’s when I got the slow realization,

My sweating had affected my whole nation.

That is the reason, my pudgy-faced dear,

If you sweat a lot, warm climate is to fear.

(I once went running to negate some candy.

That’s when big ships came in real handy.)

Sleep Gnome appeasement

Three a.m. and I can’t sleep,

Sleepy is shallow while tired is deep.

Telling my mind it can just run free,

Doesn’t even help, something’s wrong with me.

Stretching the muscles, torso and limbs,

My bed becomes the comfiest of sheet-covered gyms.

Any moment I feel that I’ll go under,

So I lay down in the distant, voiceless thunder,

Laying my head on the pillow, which is when

The sleep disappears, along with my Zen.

I guess the Sleep Gnome assigned to me tonight,

Is a cheeky bastard, abusing its might.

Therefore, I guess an appeasement is due,

Something to eat, and a feather bright blue,

Is what you need, but I don’t have a bird,

But shredding some paper handled by Word,

And sticking on blue tack is enough in low light.

Plus, you know that the gnome is not that bright.

Paper, blue tack and an apple with fur,

And voilà, I fall into the slumber and purr.

Perfect dancing

Music videos with people dancing,

Jumping around, laughing, prancing,

Telling me to dance and to go with the flow,

Enjoy the music with my body as I know.

Perfectly coordinated, they say this,

The 50th take, and the first non-miss.

They say this: “Just feel the beat,

Be yourself no matter who you meet.

But we won’t show you when we mess up,

Never ever have we spilled our tea cup,

Perfect movements in public places,

The smile never fades on our pretty faces.”

How in the duck do I compete with that?

If you saw me flailing, you’d marvel at,

The perfect lack of rhythm and motor coordination,

The presentation of which is a social castration.

For once, once in a blue moon, I’d like to see,

A first try of a choreography on MTV,

With someone cool tripping on their own feet,

But still getting up and rejoining the beat.

That would be better than the biggest flash mob,

Might make the viewers not feel like just a blob.


Oh come on, come on already!

Wrong once again! I’m getting unsteady.

Towers of Hanoi? Sounds more like,

Towers of Annoy, for someone childlike.

Someone like me, with not that much patience,

Perseverance, or even advanced sentience.

I like puzzles but they take too long,

Which is why they thought my IQ’s not strong.

I think you should consider as well,

The impatience of the person before you sell

Them short and change their whole life,

And set them on the course of fist and knife.

This is what I thought while sucking my thumb.

Or maybe not persevering just means that I’m dumb?


In the train it’s spacious as you sit,

You can read or stretch or knit.

In the plane your legs can’t move as you sit,

As you listen to your neighbors second coughing fit.

At the airport it’s cold as you sit,

Waiting for the bus, hand in the armpit.

In the bus it’s too hard to sit,

Wood is cheap, bus drivers admit.

When you arrive and you sit,

Right next to me, it’s a perfect fit.

Then I hug you and that’s it.

My heart can’t lie, it can’t sit.

Dragon wagon

Get on the dragon wagon,

Shaped like a red dragon!

We’ll fly to the Moon and Mars

Tears some brand new astral scars!

Fill our lungs in Venus with gas,

So we can roast some bad-guy’s ass!

I think Jupiter needs more spots,

Gigantic marks and not just dots!

Get on the dragon wagon,

With the claws of a black dragon!

If you want in, you have to be fast,

Or we’ll zoom and whiz right past!

Prepare your claws! Get ready!

Grab on until you feel steady!

Faster than light? That’s easy,

Photons in our trail feel queasy.

Get on the dragon wagon,

With the presence of an ancient dragon!

Let’s make Everest afraid and run!

Drive it into the sea for fun!

Stop the tsunami with just our eyes!

Do it fast so no one dies!

Get on the dragon wagon,

Shaped like an awesome dragon!