In a week or eight years

My friend told me that she would come around.

Her feet don’t really come in contact with the ground.

“What is your estimated time of arrival?”

She with her mood towards real-life survival:

“Tomorrow or a week from now or 8 years away,

Is it really bad if I come on the wrong day?”

It wouldn’t be, I like having her over,

But she can’t get in if I’m compost under a clover.

It’s not all bad, she has a calming effect:

Happen to be late? That she cannot detect.

If everyone was like her: life unproblematic,

But with other, different, people it causes some static.

She did, ultimately, remember to stop by.

Two days later, when the weather was dry.

Tooth trolls

Oral bacteria in Finnish have a name:

Tooth troll, which makes them sound less lame.

Instead of tiny things that you can’t see,

A hairy humanoid on a tooth-drilling spree.

I imagine them with tiny stone axes,

Working harder with higher sugar taxes.

Hacking wildly away at the layer of enamel,

Storing all the sugar like water in a camel.

That’s why they sometimes cause halitosis,

Unkempt and sweaty, just like Moses.

They hate it, of course, when you brush your teeth,

Takes away the dirt layer, naked underneath.

Bacteria are abstract, trolls are concrete,

A good metaphor is useful and neat.

Ins and outs of the body

When I talk on the phone,

My mouth feels wind-blown,

My ear hot of a fresh-baked scone.

When I watch TV,

My eyes dry out; they have to see,

My butt is warm above my knee.

When I talk to my friends,

My ears become hot by their ends,

My mind feels warm, collective amends.

When I play my board games,

My mind engulfed  by orange flames,

My fingers cold, my body’s frames.

From this I gather, all there is,

In my body beneath the frizz,

Only damp, temp and all their biz.

Empathy training

I have a friend and we have a game.

Empathy training is the game’s name.

The object is to think of how it feels

To know someone from their head to the heels.

“You must have it rough because…” is a good start,

Coming up with reasons makes you way smart.

If you do, you might know their pain,

Might explain why they need a cane.

It might sound silly but it’s really not.

Empathy training will dissolve any clot.

Give it a try on a friend or a stranger,

It’s pretty fun and there is zero danger.

More understanding, better comprehension,

The all-round method for sadness prevention.

Remorse pony

I ate too much chocolate yesterday,

The tiny remorse pony hit me on its way,

Ran me through without any trouble,

Dragged me into his remorsifying bubble.

Inside you can only pet his soft fur,

Triggering regret and making you slur.

You can’t stop, no matter how you wish,

Remorse-pie slices, the only valid dish.

This keeps going for, oh, at least 10 hours,

During which you keep picking rotten shame flowers.

If you even try to escape,

You’ll be confronted by the anguish ape.

Dragging you back he’ll fill you with guilt,

As you’re dragged in the contrition quilt.

All you can do is do your time,

The penance you should for your imagined crime.

Christmas Eve’s Eve

The 23rd day is the Christmas Eve’s Eve,

My grandma said (this is my pet peeve).

Christmas Eve squared is one day before,

Can I extrapolate, a dozen or a score?

Christmas Eve cubed is December 21nd,

I could go further is what I reckoned.

Christmas Eve to the power of twenty two,

Is December third but redundant to do.

Christmas Eve exponent minus one?

Christmas Day? Any sense? I think none.

Delivery can be good or inefficient,

To do it right, no need to be omniscient.

Iced up

A lot of snow came and then it just went,

Nature’s thermometer seems to be bent.

All that’s left is a mirror everywhere,

Ground too slippery for a dog or a hare.

It’s an adventure to get to the car,

Angle slightly off: you’ll slide too far.

Ten degrees off and I ended up at Jim’s,

A neighbor, he suggested getting more limbs.

The good side in this ice-slide galore,

Downhill I’m not slower than a car anymore.

I live on a hill, wanted to go to town,

With a run up I went down, down, down.

Frictionless, effortless, fast and easy,

Going grocery shopping made me never so queasy.

Done and done, found food and foam.

Now just one hill on my icy way home…