Free-willed vampire

In some movies with monsters and such,

People want to be like them too much.

Vampires or werewolves, doesn’t really matter,

They’ll serve themselves on a non-silver platter,

Become vampires free willingly or so.

I couldn’t say anything but “NO NO NO!”

Vampires can’t really go into the sun,

And I do think that tanning is fun.

Also, when I’m doing any kind of cooking,

You shouldn’t smell, but just stick to looking,

I use garlic more than pirates use rum,

Enough to lay a whole town on its bum.

Thus I can’t be a vampire of my own will,

No garlicky stews, the rest are just swill.

I wouldn’t mind taking the life of a stranger,

Not a second thought in the alley or the manger.

But frying veggies without the angel of taste,

Is like a turkey with water for a baste.

So, Mr. Dracula, please stay away,

Go bother others, if you please may.

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