Dogs’ phones

You know why dogs can’t answer the phone?

Not because they don’t have one to own.

My bulldog terrier has his own landline,

Not inconvenient, he doesn’t use mine.

It’s not that their paws can’t hold the handset,

Slippery plastic, not the biggest threat.

(I’ve seen a terrier juggle three of them.)

Barks mix up excitement and phlegm,

You don’t understand a single word,

Dog-happy panting gets the lines blurred.

The very biggest problem is being too happy:

Hi!Hi!Hi!Hi! as hello is pretty close to crappy.


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