Uses of mountains

Economy class for beginners:

Exploiting nature for winners.

Natural formations are too lazy,

Not as efficient as Mr. Scorsese.

Let’s take mountains. How can we

Use them for profit? Invent you three!

You there, Don, what do you think?

Give me ideas spiced with a wink!

“That’s a real toughie, aint’ it Bill.

How can you use a heavyweight hill?

A brand new fad? Brobdingnagian books?

Big enough to make NASA throw some looks.

We can sell them a big book stand,

Lean them on hills and don’t bruise the land.”

That will do, Don, you’ve got the stuff,

I’m pretty sure we can sell that bluff.

Tell me, Connie, your POV,

Have you a genious-y marketing clue?

“Well I don’t know, arduous it seems.

Do we sell rejuvenating creams?

We could grind every mountain to dust,

Infuse it with lard and color with rust,

Tanning lotion that makes you young?

Firm as stone on your cheek and bum.”

You’ve got a corker, that’s for sure,

We can sell that for one for four.

Last, not least, tell me Bjorn,

How can we wave our income horn?

“The solution’s as clear as a very clear thing.

Consult a president, emperor or king.

For a small fee we won’t blow them up,

Everest won’t fit into a tiny Dixie cup.

Plus, if they’re there, tourists all over,

Just charge them for looking at grass or a clover.”

Bjorn, Bjorn, Bjorn, you’re my fav,

You’re like Buddha come out from his cave,

Dispensing wisdom so we can make a killing,

Let’s get to work, my pockets need filling!


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