A friend told me that I’m a bit plump,
That made me sad, that mean chump.
I’m not stocky, just globularly honed,
It’s not fat, my tummy’s big boned.
He said I also eat in a weird way,
Bread in the morning, cheese in the day,
Evening it’s bread again, dark and rich,
It’s a perfectly normal slow sandwich.
He thinks it’s odd that I don’t drink milk,
While he’s just gulping that white, cool silk.
I don’t like middlemen, so I just bow,
I eat some grass and then kiss a cow.
He laughed at me when I ate cherries,
Popped-open corn or juniper berries.
I show them the world by throwing them up,
Catch them in my tooth-lined cup.
Let him laugh and weirdify me,
In the meantime I’ll make me some tea.
Go to a volcano with the leaves and a cloud,
When I’m sipping, sigh out loud.