The replacements

Hi! We heard your pee-cee broke.

It puffed blue and just went “croak”.

You have a warranty and it just woke,

We’re your pee-cee replacement folk.

My name’s Larry and this guy’s Bill.

Just give us a task, show us your will.

We’ll do the math in our number mill.

Get the results with impeccable skill.

You want YouTube? Tell us the song.

We’ll be singing it no matter how long.

WikiWikipedia? We’re never wrong.

But the info retrieval might take bit long.

You want to phone your mom in Greece?

Ok, no prob, just some elbow grease.

Also, some grease for the pigeons and geese.

Carrying your message, piece by piece.

World of Warcraft is your game?

We’ll draw it for you, frame by frame.

You can woo some elven dame.

Behind the facade of your nickname.

You want to know some history of Thor?

No can do, I’m sorry and sore.

Why? You ask, well here’s what for,

You’ve hit the limit: queries, four.


Parking your bike

When you go to school and leave your bicycle alone.

Park it next to one with which it has grown.

Then they can ring their bells as one,

Gossip about scooters and enjoy the warm sun.

Clean their plastic guards of mud,

Grass and spatters of dragon’s blood.

(It came from the dragon joust last week,

Where my bike got a deep, red streak.

Fun thing, btw, cycling dragon slaying

Will make the dragons start their pleading and praying.

They can’t handle the spokes or the wheels,

And just become scaly, blubbering seals.)

If you leave your bike with a friend,

It will be better for ya’ll in the end.

Tires spin smoother and the seat is soft,

Much more fun to go back to your croft.

Where you grow stuff like stones and tractors,

Selling stones to builders and the tractors to actors.

“Why sell them to actors?” You might ask.

Well, they have this simple task:

They’re the attractors of the audience’s attention.

So come down and buy, have no apprehension!

Caught by an eagle

If you were a salmon swimming in peace,

What would you do if your peace would cease?

What would you do when caught by an eagle,

Diving down, proud and regal?

Taking hold with talons of steel,

Anticipating its high-prized meal.

Time to embark on a life-saving mission,

The normal business: a staring competition.

Your fishy eyes can give it a glare,

A good, old fashioned watery stare.

Eagles are known to be proud, you see.

Even a quick challenge by a small flea

Will never ever be re-agle-jected.

The hastiest answer can be expected:

“With my eyes so great and keen,

I’ll make you jitter and quake to your spleen.”

When your eyes are locked, here’s the key.

One little thing that’ll set you free.

Just grab your salmon scratching powder,

All the while taunting it louder and louder,

Hold some powder in your fin,

Try not to laugh and try not to grin.

Flick a small pinch into its left eye,

(The left one’s always a bit more dry)

Then it will try to relieve its itch,

It’s your time to jump and ditch.

You can hope to land in a river,

If it’s not shrunk to just a small sliver.

You can hope to land in a barrel,

Filled with water or you’re in peril.

You can hope to land in the sea,

A bay or a gulf or any small quay.

You can hope after you’ve escaped,

After the eagle’s eye’s been scraped.

All this thanks to your salmony powder

You won’t be the side salmon-chowder.

Heart Bear

Sometimes it just hi-ber-nates,

Snores and snoozes, waits and waits.

When the time comes it wakes up slow,

Dozing and watching the melting snow.

Stretching its paws and ruffling its tail,

It’s just preparing to dance and to flail.

It’s a new morning, blue and warm,

It leaves its den, its own cozy dorm.

Then it roars and jumps up and down,

Loud enough to wake ghost town.

It fells trees and causes a scare.

That’s its job, it’s your Heart Bear.

That’s what happens inside your chest,

When you see the one who’s best.

When it jumps you feel its paws,

Pounding your breast like stormy applause.

It’s been a while from a best-of sighting?

Hibernation becomes inviting.

But when you see the tiniest glimpse:

Pound and thump like groups of chimps.

When the Heart Bear rouses, good times come,

May yours wake up and make you hum.

Magic shower

My shower is magic, do you want to know why?

It tells me stories I forget when I’m dry.

When I go in, and the water hits me,

The shower wakes up and goes “Oh Gee.

It’s the time again to shower you with stories?

Today I’ll take some from my silly inventories.

I’ll tell you one about the moon and the bear,

And another one about the alligator pear.

Two little ones of the fight for the cold,

And one silly one about lemons getting old.

I won’t tell you one about that Old Nick.

That’s not funny and not my stick.

Instead I’ll tell you why paper gets mad,

And what happens when potatoes get sad.

I’ll tell you this and something more,

To clean you up in your laughter pore.”

I get out of the shower all clean and all,

But can’t seem to roll my memorial ball.

All I know is my tummy is sore,

What I don’t know is: What for?

Talking in the dark

It’s way easier to talk in the dark.

The world is not lit like Central Park.

The power of whispers comes out at night,

When the glare has lost its baring bite.

Sighing secrets the world won’t know,

Never, never, never out in the cold glow.

A mystery to a friend inside dusk’s arms,

Won’t be revealed despite dangers or harms.

Showing your self, enveloped by black,

Is a real truth you don’t want to take back.

Exposing your heart in the warm, warm gloom,

Tears roll down as seeds and bloom.

The flower that binds two people together,

Beautiful, perfect, unbreakable tether.