Taming a giraffe

This one contains step-by-step instructions on taming a giraffe. Very useful.


The notes of Sir Over Bearing:


How to train your very own giraffe:

To make it like you, you have to make it laugh.


So tell a good joke or two or three

And it’ll be laughing very heartily.


The next step is to pet the giraffe.

And to do so without a bite and a half.


How to do this? Approach from the front.

Startling it you do not want!


Approach slowly repeating these words.

That I learned from posh little birds:


“Her Mr. Neck, let me come close.

See, I just gave you that happiness dose.


Won’t you, Spotty, let me approach?

I swear I’m not a lifestyle coach.”


Right then he should let out a soft grunt.

Now you can close in to tame that little runt.


Once you can reach, give him some sweets.

Biscuits, chocolate hobnobs or coconut treats.


These are known to be the very best

In taming a giraffe, they’ve passed each test.


If he eats from your hand.

It’s all going just as planned.


Now be quick, pop on the collar.

Your very own giraffe, show it off for a dollar.


Just be wary of its poison sting.

It will make you jump and make your ears ring.


The poison is in its single big horn.

That looks just like the cob of a corn.


This is my advice, it will help.

And if it doesn’t, then: oh welp.


(This has all been a very good laugh,

Because I’ve never even seen a giraffe.


So take my words with a grain of salt.

If you get kicked, it ain’t my fault.)


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