When one meets a duck, the protocol is serious business.
What to do when you meet a duck:
If you happen to have such luck
And you’re walking, not driving a truck
Please don’t act like a pompous schmuck.
Don’t be a complete ignoramus.
Don’t imitate Donald the famous.
Don’t ask them about their echo.
But rather what they think of the style art deco.
Or what’s their favorite holiday spot.
Is it somewhere cold or hot?
Don’t ask a thing about their favorite food.
You eat chicken, it’d be a bit rude.
Besides, the answer’s always some bug
You haven’t heard of, some slimy slug.
So you can’t say “I must have a taste.”
It never will go straight to your waist.
Ducks like music so you can ask about a band.
If they love hard rock or maybe soft sand.
You can ask about their very favorite hat
And if it’s wool of the naked mole rat.
You can also ask if their neighborhood’s nice.
If it’s shared by decent cats and mice.
You can share some freshly baked bread.
As long as there’s no sugar of lead.
Their feathers are soft but please don’t touch.
Even a gentle stroke can be a bit much.
We like handshakes but they do not,
Shaking a wing might get you into a mug shot.
Also, don’t comment on their feet being flat.
They hear it a lot and they don’t really like that.
This is the protocol for meeting a duck.
So if you do: Good luck and lots of pluck.